we're the pain that you feel, we're the scars that don't heal;

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:41:48 GMT

Title: I Look For You In Everyone.
Author: alex1008
Pairing: Pierre/David
Rating: G/PG.
POV: Either 2nd or 3rd.
Summary: A few drabbles (if you will), based on pictures that can be found on people I ~~stalk~~ follow on tumblr.
Disclaimer: All characters own themselves, the writing is mine, the ideas are semi mine. Title is also a credit to the graphic tumblr's.
Author Notes: All pictures can be found here and also here, I believe. Not promising great quality, but we need more Pierre/David loving. Cross posted to hott_baguettes slash_theplan and pxd_addiction
Beta: Self edited.
Warnings: Unashamed fluffiness.

He was leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom, arms folded as he surveyed the scene before him. The room was cast in an orange toned glow as the setting sun filtered through the window. A small figure was sitting cross legged amongst the mess of pillows and bed sheets draped across their bed.

The man on the bed could feel Pierre’s eyes upon him as he turned his eyes from his book and surveyed the other figure.

‘What are you looking at?’ a familiar smile spread across his face as he surveyed the man through his black framed glasses.

Pierre kept his gaze steady before allowing a small smile to grace his features. He moved his gaze slightly to focus on the other man’s face before biting his lip as he answered.

‘You.’

One foot fell quickly in front of the other as he ran, faster and faster as the seconds ticked on. The rain was falling around him, clinging to his skin, progressively drenching his body as he continued his journey. His hood was pulled over his head, blocking his features from the public view.

He kept running, hands thrust into his pockets as he moved, determined to reach his destination. His gaze was fixed on the pavement as he moved swiftly, knowing this path better than he knew his own home.

The man turned, making his way down another stretch of road, before stopping and surveying the house before him. He travelled up the wooden stairs before he could further indulge his hesitation, knocking on the door.

He didn’t have to wait long before a young man answered his knock, looking at him confusedly through hazel eyes.

‘David? I thought you were going home...?’

The one called David took a deep breath before looking up at the other man, pulling his hood down to reveal his face. Another deep breath was taken before he looked his friend firmly in the eye and spoke without hesitation.

‘I am home.’

Lips were ghosting over Pierre’s toned abdomen, hot breath trailing over the slightly bronzed skin. Nimble fingers were following the path created by passionate bursts of air. A body came to hover above the vocalists own, ceasing all other movements.

Pierre opened his eyes, seeing straight into the gaze of the man above him. He was immediately locked into the liquid pools of brown, unable to move his gaze anywhere else. David’s hand moved from its position next to the singer’s head and beginning to slowly trail down the side of Pierre’s face, stopping to cup the stubbled cheek.

It was suddenly as though his airways had been blocked, Pierre couldn’t breathe. He was choking on the words he longed to say but always had trouble speaking. The body above him grew closer as David moved his mouth to brush the shell of Pierre’s ear. The singer’s eyes fluttered shut as he felt the lips begin to form a phrase.

‘I love you.’

Pierre brought his hands together over his head, clapping them to the beat of the music surrounding him. The sound was pounding through his veins as the speakers projected the band’s sound, the song’s closing bars sounding around him. The singer brought his hand down, wiping his hand over his forehead, pushing the sweat away from his skin. He gave the crowd a final glance before raising his hands a final time, listening to the chords fade through the air as the music slowly stopped.

The band slowly began moving off the stage, disconnecting the equipment so the next band could come forward to set up their own equipment. Pierre pulled his bass over his head, carrying it by the neck as he walked off the elevated platform. His attention was caught as he heard his friend Chuck calling his name, and he glanced over his shoulder, not focusing on his path as he continued walking. He was still focused on his friend before a hard object collided with his shoulder.

Startled, the vocalist turned around and found himself looking down into a pair of hazel eyes, circled by black framed glasses. All of a sudden, he felt as though the collision had completely winded him, drawing in a sharp intake of breath. His mind went blank as he looked down at the boy on the floor.

“I’m so sorry...” he leaned down, extending his hand to help the other boy up.

“No... It’s my fault... I’m always so clumsy...” the brown haired youth accepted Pierre’s offer, wrapping his hand around the vocalist’s own.

“I’m Pierre...” he couldn’t stop staring. He couldn’t look away.

“David...” The boy bit his lip.

Their hands were still connected.

Con crit, yeahh?
Comments are crack.

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:10:41 GMT

Yeah, I'm a shit person.
Thanks brain.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 11:04:07 GMT

Simple fact is I don't really care much about anything r/n.
Slightly scared of the way I feel, slightly confused.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:01:46 GMT

I kinda really need to meet you one day.
I hope I do.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:27:17 GMT

I'm sorry.

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 11:52:13 GMT

All I want is a fucking answer.
Is that too hard?

fdjksadhrejrfijrfiujm\
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 10:51:19 GMT

'Coz I said I would.

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4. What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favourite place to be:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you?:

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:45:53 GMT

Sometimes I wish I could save you.

I wish I knew more.
I wish I knew how to help.
I wish I could help.
I wish I wasn't such a selfish cow.
I wish I wasn't so self involved.
I wish I wasn't as affected as I am.
I wish I was a better person.
I just wish I could fucking do something.
I fucking wish I knew how to feel.
Or even just WHAT I feel.

If only I could find the answer to take it all away.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 12:32:50 GMT

Fucking hell.
I really am a selfish cow, eh?
:/

It's not a New Years resolution,

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 05:48:03 GMT

But its a resolution nontheless.
I'm giving up worrying about all the stupid petty shit that usually gets me down.
From now on, I'm just going to relax and go wherever life takes me.
So far, its working well.

Don't set impossibly high expectations, always be prepared for a negative.
If its a negative, accept it and move on. Take it in stride.

Don't worry about the stupid things I always think about, don't listen to undeserved shit.
Stick with the people you want to stick with, spend time with who you want to spend time with.

I'm trying to be really happy, and I think this is going to work.
It probably won't work all the time, but I'm trying for majority.

We'll see where this gets me.
:)

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:36:40 GMT

o.O
I don't like this feeling.
I really don't.
:/

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:37:00 GMT

I hate being so fucking paranoid.
But why does it feel true this time?

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:22:36 GMT

Title: The Best Laid Plans
Author: alex1008
Pairing: Pierre/David
Rating: NC17
POV: Third person, Pierre omniscient.
Summary: With Halloween just around the corner, his band mates were especially vigilant as they knew that when David set his mind on something, anything could happen.
Disclaimer: About as real as Mr. Desrosiers' hair colour. Oh yes, I went there.
Author Notes: DRESS!David fic. A little late, I know, but still, here it is. It’s also my first time writing something smutty and not angst written, so be gentle. Also, un-beta’d, but I’m pretty good at getting massive mistakes. Anything staring you in the face is my mistake. I’m posting this because firstly, I spent forever on it, even if it doesn’t show, and secondly, my lovely gay friend liked it, so I’m assuming it’s not all eight cans of shit rolled into one. It’s a bit fluffier than I wanted, but still. Who can blame me for producing P/D porn and fluff?
Word Count: Approx. 3228
Warnings: Adult themes; cross dressing, slight fluff.

He had that look about him.

Pierre had come to know that look well over the many years in which they’d known each other. From the wide and devious smile to the sparkle in his eyes; this look was the one that David wore when he was up to something. Whenever the bassist’s face lit up with this particular expression, the rest of the band knew they had to watch themselves.

Simple Plan had learnt that with David, they had to expect the unexpected, as nobody, not even the man himself, knew what would happen next. From shot putting fridges out windows to cling wrap over the toilet seat, there was nothing David wouldn’t do. He never needed a particular excuse to stir up trouble; he just did it for the joy he felt when he pulled off a particularly spectacular practical joke. Pierre especially had learnt when the dark haired man envisioned something; everyone else would eventually see it too. With Halloween just around the corner, his band mates were especially vigilant as they knew that when David set his mind on something, anything could happen.

The day had been fairly uneventful by Simple Plan standards. There had been no public nudity, no expired food eaten and no surprise pranks from the mischievous bassist. This was why Pierre was so anxious; he knew the bassist too well to believe he would let this day go buy uneventfully. He spent the day double checking doors and feeling every available surface tentatively to make sure it hadn’t been tainted somehow. He’d expected fishing wire in doorways, and cling wrap across toilet seats, but he had found nothing. That was probably the most unexpected thing Pierre had ever experienced on any given Halloween.
Just before they had gone on stage that night, Pierre had questioned the bassist repeatedly, not believing the younger man when he had assured him that no, he was not planning a practical joke on the vocalist.

“Trust me Pierre,” David had whispered against Pierre’s mouth, fingers threaded through the other man’s tresses, “You’re not gonna be humiliated.”

Then with a coy wink at his boyfriend, David had turned on his heel and left, not appearing again until he entered the stage, bass slung over his shoulder. Still, Pierre couldn’t shake the paranoid feeling lingering in the pit of his stomach. Quick glances over at the younger man during the show had done nothing to satisfy his quest for answers- the bassist appeared to be the same as he normally was, but the look on his face told Pierre that maybe his worrying was justified. He had never been more on edge throughout a show, he had never been anticipating something so much and he could bet that other members of the band were feeling the same way too.

The singer remained on edge the entire night, waiting for the moment that still had not come. Maybe the bastard was telling the truth, he wondered as he stood before the crowd to open their final song. Maybe he isn’t actually planning anything.
Focusing on his guitar, Pierre began strumming the notes for the familiar song, letting his mind go and allowing his muscles to take over. His eyes took in the sea of people before him, yelling every word back at him as he continued to play. Now he was just waiting for the rest of the band to join him on stage to finish the song. His eyes moved down to the neck of his guitar as he heard Chuck pound out his beginning beats. It was then his eyes moved to David.
Having seemingly appeared from nowhere, the bassist now stood before him, a self satisfied grin upon his face. Pierre’s eyes raked over the other man’s body, taking in the sight before him as he froze slightly. There he was, proud and shameless, clothed only in an extremely short dress. Pierre felt the shock slip away as a smile fought its way onto his own face, retreating a few steps before launching himself off the ground.

He held back a laugh as he slipped his guitar off and threw it to the side of the stage where someone would be waiting for it. His eyes fell back onto David as he pranced around stage, uninhibited in the dress he was surprisingly comfortable in. He knew the bassist could feel his eyes on him and could just picture the sly grin on his face as the man’s hand slid from his instrument and to his own behind, catching on the dresses hem and tugging the material higher up his ass. The only clear thought in Pierre’s head was the extreme gratefulness that he himself had chosen to wear loose fitting pants that night, because seeing his boyfriend in drag had caused Pierre to become aroused embarrassingly quickly.

From that moment, Pierre could barely focus upon the task of finishing the song he knew so well. The only thing he could think of was dragging David to a darkened corner backstage and showing him exactly what he thought of the man’s little ‘prank’. It only got worse as the song progressed, David taking his flirting to entirely unexpected levels, showing Pierre exactly what he could be having, what he would be having.

Pierre would never be able to tell you how he lasted through that entire song.
It didn’t take Pierre long to exit the stage after the final notes were sounded. Almost sprinting away from the open space, he frantically searched for the bassist, wondering where he could have disappeared to.

“Looking for someone?”

The vocalist jumped, turning in the direction the voice had come from. There he stood, propped up against a darkened brick wall, the shadows falling over his fine features. His black fedora was now being twisted through his fingers as he eyed Pierre up and down. The vocalist gulped and then allowed himself a smirk.

“I’ve found them now.”

And with that, Pierre closed the gap between them, covering the short distance within a few steps. He leant over the slender man before him, hand planted on the wall above his head. “So,” he whispered, allowing his lips to graze over David’s forehead. “Was this what you had planned all along?” asked the vocalist, emphasising the word ‘this’ by dragging his fingertips along the hemline of David’s skirt. David’s impish smile grew as he leaned his leg into Pierre’s touch. He arched off the wall, letting his face draw impossibly closer to the other man’s. His lips passed over the stubbled cheek, ghosting towards the older man’s ear.
“Pretty much,” he whispered huskily, letting his tongue dart out to circle the shell of Pierre’s ear. “Now, what do you say to you and me fulfilling the rest of my plans?”
The older of the two did not answer verbally, but chose to quickly back away and slip his fingers around David’s slender wrist. It seemed as though verbal communication had been forgotten as Pierre dragged David through the endless amount of dark corridors in the backstage area. He stopped abruptly in front of a janitorial, looking around them as he slid his free hand over the door knob.

“In here.” He whispered, turning to shoot another grin at David.

The bassist slid his unoccupied hand over the point where the other was crossed with Pierre’s. He brought himself up to the tips of his toes, aligning his torso with the tight lines of the singer’s body. He brought his lips close to the other man’s ear before turning to bury his grin in Pierre’s neck. He allowed himself to be pulled through the doorway, beginning to lay hot, open mouthed kisses on his partner’s exposed skin. The older man guided them past the open door before he disentangled their bodies and turned to close the door behind him, locking the door with a soft click. The taller of the two then turned to face his lover, bringing his hand up to cup David’s cheek as he stepped closer. Pierre leaned down as the other man leaned up, letting their lips meet in their first real post show kiss. Their mouths moved together, moulding to compliment the shape of the other set of lips. David could feel Pierre’s tongue wasting no time as it darted out to trace the bassist’s lips, causing the younger mans mouth to fall open, granting Pierre the permission he craved.

They stood near the door for what seemed like an age, lips staying connected and hands wandering lightly over clothed skin. David could feel the other man’s calloused hands sliding lower and lower down his body, sensing as he gathered bits of the dress between his fingers and then letting the material slide back through his grasp. Eager for more contact, David slid his fingers beneath the sweat drenched t-shirt Pierre was wearing, letting his nimble fingers dance along the skin above the singer’s waistband. Hearing Pierre grunt heavily beneath his touch only sparked David’s urge even further, determined to have his lover squirming beneath him- after all, that was what he had hoped to achieve with this ‘prank.’
The bassist moved his lips, letting them slide over Pierre’s jaw line, grazing the stubble prickling the man’s cheek. Slowly, his mouth traced a path to the older man’s ear, tongue darting out occasionally as he paused to suckle lightly on different areas of the other man’s skin. He slid his hands further up beneath the material of Pierre’s shirt, letting his fingertips ghost over the man’s supple body. He could feel his lover’s lips moving to his neck, focusing all of his attention on the sensitive area. David let out a low moan as Pierre nipped lightly at his skin, bringing his hips to meet those of the bassist. The younger man pushed his hands up further, before sliding them back down again, letting his fingers catch the bottom of his lover’s shirt, twisting the material between his digits. He tugged; lifting the shirt over the plane of Pierre’s back, appreciating the feeling of the hot skin under his touch. The pair pulled apart as Pierre’s shirt was pulled over his head and thrown to the side. David moved his hands from where they had come to rest on the singer’s muscular chest and brought them down to the bottom of his dress, clearly aiming to rid himself of the garment. He was quickly stopped by the other man’s hands stilling his movements.
“No,” Pierre murmured to David’s confusion. “Leave it on.”

David broke into an impish grin, letting his head roll back as the taller of the two slowly slid his hands further down the slim lines of his partner’s body, slipping his fingers underneath the hemline of David’s dress, letting the hardened tips ghost higher and higher until they had the skirt bunched around David’s waist.
Pierre leaned down, bringing his mouth to kiss the skin below the other man’s ear. “Wanna suck you off so bad.” He whispered, before returning his mouth to the man’s jaw line pressing wet, open mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin.

“Fucking do it then,” David gasped out, sounding almost desperate. He could feel the mouth bestowing kisses upon him spread into a sly smile, before moving to his Adam’s apple. The man gasped as Pierre’s tongue darted out, tracing invisible patterns onto his skin. He could feel Pierre working determinedly, intent on marking the pale skin. Curling his hands into tight fists, David let out another breathy moan, knowing that this was just a taste of what was to come. The lips left his neck as Pierre leaned his head in once more, but this time pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth. He grinned once more before slowly sliding to his knees, keeping his hands tangled in the hem of David’s skirt.

Once eye level with David’s crotch, Pierre licked his lips before biting the bottom one. He let out a sigh of disbelief before raising his eyes to look at the other man. “You actually wore women’s underwear?” he asked, leaning in to begin nibbling at the skin on David’s inner thighs.

“Wanted to, uh...God... I wanted the, uh... The full effect.”

Pierre hummed to himself, dropping one hand from where it was gathered in the dress so that it could pull the lacy panties away from David’s skin. The man’s cock sprang forwards as it was freed from its material prison, already more than half hard. The singer smirked again. “Eager, I see...”

David grunted, thrusting his hips slightly as an obvious hint to Pierre. “Fucking... Just...Get on with it.”

From his position on his knees, Pierre regarded his boyfriend with a final wink before leaning in and wrapping his lips around the head of David’s cock. The bassist let out a long loud moan as he attempted to thrust his hips forward, but was stilled by the arm the singer had pinned across his hips. Pierre sucked lightly, letting his tongue flit across the slit as he brought his unoccupied hand to wrap around the base of David’s cock. He squeezed his hand tighter as he slowly began to pump his fist bringing it up to meet his lips. He began pumping in a regular rhythm as his tongue started to swirl around the head. He could feel the man above him continually trying to bring his hips forward and further into the wet heat of his lover’s mouth. Pierre could hear David whimpering slightly as his body reacted to the pleasure it was feeling. He looked up, lips still working on the head of David’s cock, and was greeted with the sight of a near boneless bassist. David’s head had rolled back and was propped up against the wall, eyes closed and mouth closed around his fist, muffling his sounds of pleasure.

Returning his focus to the task at hand, Pierre moved his mouth further down David’s cock, hollowing his cheeks as his warm mouth enclosed the throbbing member. His tongue danced along the underside, tracing the stretch of vein he had fit into his mouth. As he slid his lips further down, Pierre moved his hand from the base to toy lightly with the younger man’s balls. As his hand changed locations, the vocalist felt one of David’s hands become entangled in his hair, letting out a low moan around the bassist’s cock as he felt his hair straining against his scalp.

Pierre started swallowing around the throbbing member, mouth now reaching over halfway down David’s length. Bobbing his head, the singer moved further and further down, feeling David’s control slipping from the bassists grasp. The hand in his hair was gripping tighter and he could tell the younger man was reaching his climax. Eager to bring his boyfriend to the ultimate point of vulnerability, the older man sucked harder, fingers still fondling David’s balls. He slid the hand on David’s balls further back, going to lightly tease the bassist’s entrance.

Circling the puckered hole with his index finger, Pierre flicked his tongue lightly across the slit of David’s dick. The younger man had thus given up trying to control his sounds and was moaning freely, having always loved the feeling of penetration. The singer pressed against David’s entrance more firmly as his mouth relaxed around the bassist, taking him in even further. He could feel the grittiness of David hot and heavy on his tongue as he went further. He could feel the tip of David’s cock getting closer to the back of his throat. Pierre let his eyes slip shut, allowing the sounds of David’s moan to fill his ears as he began trying to relax the muscles in his throat.

He knew it was coming, but it was still a surprise when the head of David’s cock hit the back of Pierre’s throat. Gagging only slightly, Pierre kept his mouth in place, swallowing around the entire length. Simultaneously, he pushed forward with his finger, letting it enter David. The closet was suddenly filled with the sounds of screaming as the bassist allowed his pleasure to overtake him. The singer moved his finger slightly inside David, crooking it as he searched for that spot inside David. The younger man let out a near sob, writhing beneath his boyfriend’s hands as the finger within him brushed against his prostate. Encouraged by David’s reaction, Pierre moved his finger over the same place again, swallowing once again around the length of the man’s cock.

Being on the receiving end of so many sensory pleasures had become too much for David. He let out a final desperate moan, and then he was coming. Short, sharp bursts of cum were spilling from David and Pierre willingly accepted, swallowing as the salty essence shot into his mouth and down his throat. The singer drew back, removing his mouth from David’s cock with a slight pop. Sitting back on his haunches, Pierre looked up through his lashes at his boyfriend’s face. Eyes closed, mouth slack, the bassist was the image of spent, one hand resting limply at his side, the other propped up on his shoulder. The older man felt a surge of arousal race through him reminding him of his own neglected erection, straining against his pants.

Suddenly, David was kneeling beside him, exhaustion still obvious on his features, but now mixed with a look of determination. The bassist’s skilled fingers slipped to the waistband of his pants, deftly undoing the button and sliding down the fly in an almost rushed manner. Biting his lip, David moved his hand beneath the waistband of Pierre’s boxers, curling his fingers in a loose fist around Pierre. The older man tipped his head back, letting out another moan as the calloused fingers set to work, intent on bringing him off quickly. David settled into a hurried rhythm, wiping his thumb over the slit of Pierre’s member, using the pre cum as a makeshift lubrication to assist him in bringing the singer to orgasm.
“Come on Pierre,” a growl was emitted from David as he tightened his fist around Pierre, feeling the man shudder beneath his touch. “Come for me, baby.” He whispered, twisting his wrist to emphasise his point.

And that line was the clincher. Letting out a string of profanities, Pierre was tipped over the edge, feeling a hot white light behind his closed eyelids. He came, spilling his seed into David’s skilled hand.

Breathing heavily, Pierre turned to David, lips seeking those of the bassist, eager for a kiss. The two musicians slumped up against a wall together; both panting as they slowly came down from their high. The bassist reached over the slight gap between them, searching for Pierre’s fingers, lacing their hands together when he found his target. The singer let his head drop to the side, resting on David’s shoulder.

“Hey Dave?”

The bassist acknowledged him exhaustedly, too tired to open his eyes.

“We have to get going soon, the guys’ll be looking for us.”

David snorted. “It’s not like they have no idea what we’re doing.”

The pair was silent for another few moments, both having mostly regained their breath.

“Hey Pierre?”

This time the singer let out a grunt, letting David know he was paying attention.

“Next Halloween; you wear the dress.”

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:33:55 GMT

Once again i'm falling to my knees
(I try to escape cause i just can't take it)
Now this feeling is spreading like a disease
(I fake another day and the wheel keeps turning)
This place is so pathetic
Doesn't anybody get it
Is there anybody home?
Is there anybody home?
There's nothing left.
We're just a shadow of what we used to be.

In the night there's a fire in my eyes
And this paradise has become a place we've come to cry.
When I open your letter the words makes it better, it takes it all away
Whoaoh it keeps me holding
On whoaoh it keeps me holding on

Here we are preteding we're ok
(you can say what you want but you still can't fool me)
The life we're living
It's all masquerade
(i try to smile but i can't remember how)
So how did we get so jaded
Is it so complicated
To not give up to me?

In the night there's a fire in my eyes
And this paradise has become a place we've come to cry.
When I open your letter the words makes it better it takes it all away whoaoh it keeps me holding on

Whenever I need you
Whenever I run to
I know where to find you
It keeps me holding on
Whenever I need you
Whenever I run to
I know where to find you
You keep me holding on
You keep me holding on whoaoh

In the night there's a fire in my eyes
And this paradise has become a place we've come to cry.
When i open your letter the words makes it better it takes it all away whoaoh it keeps me holding on

Whenever i need you
Whenever i run to
I know where to find you
It keeps me holding on
Whenever i need you
Whenever i run to
I know where to find you
It keeps me holding on

Anybody on my f/l.

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:00:05 GMT

Know where I can get a good Simple Plan layout?
This thing's shitting me.
I need an actual layout, and not the premade stuff.

Or know any place where I can request one and get a GOOD one made?

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:26:53 GMT

I am not coping as well as I thought I was.
I just realised that I don't know anything.
:/

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 07:55:33 GMT

I just wanna get away.
I wanna just go.
Its obvious I'm nothing but a pain in your ass.
I wish I could stop thinking for a bit and be someone else.
I'm just over everything r/n.

I'm sorry.

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 08:02:21 GMT

Kinda hating the human race right now.
Fucking hell, it pisses me off so much.
Bumfuckcuntwhore.
Hate you esp. right now.

Is it too hard to say yes?
Especially when you knew how much it meant to me.

If that was my only chance, I don't think I'll ever forgive you.
Srsly.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:13:07 GMT

After two days of attempting to word this right, here is what I've come up with.

I'm fucking sick of people laughing at me when I say that a band means more to me than just music.
It's my mind, I know what I'm feeling and thinking.
Just because its stupid to you, doesn't mean its stupid to everyone else.
You're not me and I'm not you.
We see the world through different eyes.

People have different ways of coping with stress and sadness.
People have different things that make them happy.
People have different things that they're passionate about.

You may love a band, you may love music, but that's it for you.
You don't have a certain type of music you need to listen to to get you through the day.

For me, its different. I need to listen to certain bands to get through a day.
Some bands and their music make me happier than a lot of things.
Some music gets me through the harder times.

Gah, I don't even know if I make sense.
But all in all; please don't bag me out about this.
It pisses me off.
I know its not important to you, but it is to me.
So yeahh.

/end.

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 12:58:10 GMT

You don't mean anything to me,
You're what I never wanna be.

I can't believe its taken me this long to figure that out.
:DD

Stupid assessments ruin my life.
I guess I rlly should make more of a start on my English.
Start planning.
Or something.

And right now I'm thinking.
I don't know why I'm thinking about it now, but I am.
Over a year, and I'm still trying to figure out why.
Still trying to comprehend the fact that you're gone.
That I'll never see you again.

Ha, don't ask me why I'm thinking of this now.
I miss you, I really do.

Srsly.

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:38:36 GMT

SERIOUSLY.
Paranoia is getting to me so badly.
I wish I could switch my brain off for a bit.

Today's turning into a >.< day.

But on a plus note, I ♥ fan fic.
:D

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:06:08 GMT

Why am I somehow getting the feeling that this is happening again?
I rlly don't want to bitch or be judgemental, but come the fuck on.
If what I think is happening again, I'm seriously going to scream.
I'm just hoping to fuck that I really am reading too much into it.

I really think/hope I am.
And we'll just hope that you aren't what I think you are.

S'what I get from being all paranoid/jealous like this.
Moron.
>.<

Gah, I am a fckn retard.
Srsly.

But yeahh.
Let's end on a happy note.
:) <-- Happy note.

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 04:13:41 GMT

1. Are there any magical powers you wished you had?
That I could bring whatever band I was listening to on my iPod into my bedroom, or wherever I was listening to it. I'd also love to be able to grant wishes, or to have a power to make all my friends and family genuinely happy.

2. What is your favourite time of day?
Depends where I am, normally. But, I like late afternoon, when the sun's just going down, and I can sit somewhere and read a book, or some good fan fic and listen to music.

3. What’s your favourite album of all time?
I really don't know. There are too many songs, all from different albums that I love so much for so many different reasons.. I don't think I could ever pick just one.

4. What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen?
Uh.. My leg. Few years ago, I fell off a wall, and split my leg open. I could see blood, fat, muscle and bone. I wanted to throw up. Oh, and that bag of mangos behind the work freezer.

5. If you could only have on book for the rest of your life what would it be?
I really don't know.
Probably either Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, or Twilight.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 09:45:52 GMT

You're an immature cunt, you get that right?
You just make me so angry, I literally see red.

A bullet in your head is how I want it
Your body on the floor -- a Kodak moment
You're a waste of air and a waste of space
I want sharp objects to fly into your face
I hate you now more than I ever did
I wanna kill you, dig you up and do it again
I want a car to run over your head
Put it in reverse and do it again

And I would be lying if I said that it wasn't true
I only want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want very bad things to happen to you

It would be really great if you drowned in a lake
Or put a bag over your face and watched you suffocate
I'd celebrate at your wake, I'd bake myself a cake
'Cause you're my favorite person that I love to hate
And you're the reason that murder should be legalized
If it was, you'd be dead and in the ground by five
Just in case I forgot to say --
I hate you motherfucker in the very worst way

And I would be lying if I said that it wasn't true
I only want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want very bad things to happen to you

I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want very bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want bad things to happen to you
I want very bad things to happen to you

I'm not the only one, you disgusting piece of shit.

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 08:44:53 GMT

Just ignore me.
Slightly emo-ish ramblings.
Just whatever's on my mind right now.

It really is.
I'll tell you I don't care, not a little bit, but the truth is that it matters more to me than you'll ever know.

I hate hearing about it, I hate hearing you complain about it. Are you trying to rub it in, or are you just so sadistic that you don't care anymore?

I tried, really I did. I tried to be enough for you.. You have no idea how much effort I put in, and you don't know how much it killed me to realise it never really mattered.

The sad thing is, even after everything, I'll still be there whenever you need me, trying to be enough. I guess that's kinda what hurts the most.

Won’t look back
When I say goodbye
Gonna leave this world behind me
Gonna take what’s mine tonight
‘cause every wasted day
Becomes a wasted chance

One day, I'm going to leave. I'll leave everything here, and I'll try to forget some of it, but remember most.. If it all happens for a reason, what is the reason? And when will we find out? I don't just mean this, I mean everything. I know I'm not the girl with the worst problems, far from it, but sometimes it all gets to be too much.

I'll take everything I have, along with everything I've learnt, and I'll start something new, no matter how hard it'll be. I may have to do it on my own, but I'll do it, I'll make something of myself.

If every wasted day is a wasted chance, then that means so many chances have come and gone. One day, whenever it comes, there'll be another chance for me, and I'm determined to take it.

Whenever it comes.